Podcast #145 A Sea Story

Published in the category General Practice, Humor, Lesson Exercises PDF

Podcast #145_EXERCISES

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, I haven’t seen you in three years. What happened? You look terrible!”

“What do you mean?” the pirate replies, “I’m fine.”

The bartender says, “But what about that wooden leg? Three years ago you didn’t have that.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in a battle at sea. A cannon ball hit my leg. But the surgeon fixed me up. I’m fine, really.”

“Yeah,” says the bartender, “But what about that hook? You used to have two hands.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “We were in another battle. We boarded the enemy ship. I was in a vicious sword fight. My hand was cut off . But I replaced it with this hook. I feel great, really.”

“Oh,” says the bartender, “What about that eye patch? Three years ago you had both eyes.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “Some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up. One of them pooped in my eye.”

“So?” replied the bartender, “what happened? A little bird poop didn’t take out your eye.”

“Well,” says the pirate, “I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.”

 

A pirate walks into a bar.

A pirate enters a bar

 

He has a wooden leg.

He’s wearing a wooden leg.

 

One hand is just a metal hook.

One of his hands is a metal hook.

 

He has a patch over one eye.

There’s a patch over one eye.

 

I haven’t seen you in three years.

You haven’t been in here in three years.

 

What’s happened?

What’s happened to you?

 

You look terrible!

You look awful!

 

What do you mean?

What are you referring to?

 

I’m fine.

I’m doing just fine.

 

But what about that wooden leg?

Tell me about that wooden leg.

 

Three years ago you didn’t have that.

You didn’t have that three years ago.

 

We were in a battle at sea.

We were engaged in a sea battle.

 

A cannon ball hit my leg.

My leg caught a cannon ball.

 

But the surgeon fixed me up.

But I got fixed up by the surgeon.

 

I’m fine, really.

Really, I’m fine.

 

But what about that hook?

How do you explain the hook?

 

You used to have two hands.

I remember you with two hands.

 

We were in another battle.

We were in another sea battle.

 

We boarded the enemy ship.

We got onto the enemy ship.

 

I was in a vicious sword fight.

I was in a savage sword fight.

 

My hand was cut off .

My hand got cut off.

 

I replaced it with this hook.

This hook replaced it.

 

I feel great, really.

I feel stupendous, really.

 

What about that eye patch?

Now explain that eye patch.

 

Three years ago you had both eyes.

You had two eyes three years ago.

 

Some birds were flying over the ship.

A flock of birds was flying over the ship

 

I looked up.

I looked up at them.

 

One of them pooped in my eye.

My eye got hit with bird poop.

 

So what happened?

So what are you saying?

 

A little bird poop didn’t take out your eye.

A little bird poop doesn’t ruin an eye.

 

I really wasn’t used to the hook yet.

I wasn’t quite used to the hook yet.

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The ESL Aloud podcast lessons are designed for people who want to increase their abilities in speaking English as a second language (ESL).